A Large Minority

If an American Religious Identification Survey is accurate, godless Americans outnumber African Americans and gays:

According to ARIS, then, there could be as many as 40 million adult nonbelievers in the United States!

. . .

Consider: If these numbers are correct, nonbelievers amount to more than the highest estimates of African Americans or gays. Secularists are one of America’s largest minorities. It is no longer possible to proclaim, as the Gallup Poll announced fifty years ago: “Nearly all Americans believe in God.” That is today’s most significant change.

However, the number of atheists who are black and gay are severely lacking.

Do Terrorists Watch Comedy Central?

When bin Laden releases a grainy, self-indulgent video, everyone has easy access to the footage. But when someone in the Western world writes or talks about Islamic terrorists, do they hear about it? As it turns out, the answer is often an unsettling "yes":

He has been mentor to some of the most brutal terrorists on earth. But Abu Muhammad al-Maqdisi, a prominent cleric and theorist of jihad living in Jordan, has grown tired of hearing younger extremists accuse him of going soft.

So in a recent Internet post to his followers, Mr. Maqdisi defended his hard-line credentials by invoking a higher authority: the Combating Terrorism Center at West Point.

. . .

It is not new for Islamic extremists to cite Western counterterrorism reports. Ayman Zawahri, the deputy of Osama bin Laden, has referred at least twice in his taped statements to “Stealing Al Qaeda’s Playbook,” a 2004 article also published by the center. But recently Mr. Maqdisi has taken this hall-of-mirrors phenomenon to a new level, complaining bitterly that secular Western analysts generally understand him better than many in his own community.

“I am surprised at the low level of their thinking,” Mr. Maqdisi wrote of his critics, “and how the enemies of religion read and understand us better than they do.”

. . .

For all their suspicion toward each other, many militant Islamists often speak of Western analysts — especially those with a clear link to the military — with the respect due a true enemy. Mr. Maqdisi, whose Web site includes the world’s largest online compilation of jihadist literature (it is searchable by author), is clearly aware of what is written about him, and about jihad generally.

What I'd really like to know is if bin Laden knows about some of parodies we've done of him. It seems unlikely -- even if his cave has electricity, he probably doesn't want to take any time away from plotting against infidels -- but how sweet would it be to see his reaction to these South Park scenes?

Here we have some bin Laden-camel romance. Truly, bestiality jokes never go stale:

And I love the Comedy Central description for this scene: "In a Looney Tunes parody, Cartman pulls down Osama bin Laden's pants to reveal his tiny penis."

Screw waterboarding. If we ever capture this guy, he should be forced to constantly watch this stuff.

The Granite State Goes Gay

Or at least tolerant of gays. Both bodies of the New Hampshire Congress have approved legislation legalizing gay marriage:

The bill, House Bill 436, would leave to each religion whether to recognize and officiate over same-sex marriages. It would also automatically convert all civil unions to civil marriage on Jan. 1, 2011. Civil unions have been legal since Jan. 1, 2008.

If it becomes law, the bill would make New Hampshire the fifth state in the nation to allow same-sex couples to marry.

Gov. John Lynch, who said two weeks ago he thinks the word marriage should be reserved for traditional marriage between men and women, left it unclear whether he's considering a veto.

Lynch is being lobbied hard for a veto:

Bishop John McCormack of the Catholic Diocese of Manchester called on Lynch to "take a stand for the uniqueness of the marriage relationship and veto the legislation."

The conservative Cornerstone Policy Research-Action group said the Senate had sided with "radical outside special interests" and called for a veto.

"We are confident that the voters will not forget this vote in the November 2010 elections," Executive Director Kevin Smith said.

If the Cornerstone Policy Research-Action group doesn't get their way, they can still take solace in this other work of the New Hampshire state government:

Earlier in the session, the Senate voted 24-0 to kill HB 415, which extended anti-discrimination laws to include trans-gendered people. The measure was dubbed the "bathroom bill" by Republican opponents.

Critics said it would open women's bathrooms, changing rooms and locker rooms to sexual predators who could raise a defense in court that they were sexually confused.

Was Jesus A Holocaust Fan?

MSNBC contributor and frequent presidential candidate Pat Buchanan is comparing a Nazi death camp guard to Jesus. That gives a whole new meaning to "WWJD?".

The First 100 Days, God Style

President Obama has now been in office 100 days, meaning that he must face a round of evaluations because his term has reached a round number under our base ten perspectives. Oh well, 100 days is as good a time as any to put out a report card. I would have to agree with this U.S. News & World Report evaluation, which states that Obama's administration has put a high value on religious faith, but have done well to make compromises:

In his first 100 days in office, President Obama has sought a bold new role for faith in the White House, which aides say is aimed largely at dialing down the decades-old culture wars. Without changing his party's liberal stances on social issues like abortion, for example, Obama is nonetheless attempting to reach out to religious conservatives by pledging to work toward reducing demand for abortion. And while acknowledging his party's own secular base—he went out of his way to mention nonbelievers in his inaugural address—Obama has sought to showcase religion's expanded role in his White House, opening his rallies with public prayer.

So far, the project has blunted the Christian right's usual criticism of Democratic administrations, even earning plaudits from some high-profile religious conservatives. But it has also alienated some traditionally Democratic constituencies, from advocates for strict church-state separation to the gay rights movement.

I really can't complain, because this president has been such a big improvement over Bush, and for that matter, how I would envision a McCain-Palin administration. I usually don't like giving report cards, however, I'll give into "100 days" peer pressure and hand Obama a solid "B" in religion.

The Morning After

This British commercial for the morning-after pill has recently started running, and it's drawing the ire of pro-life groups. Watch and see why (and note the flying sperm at the beginning):



The ad certainly has a light tone for such a serious matter, but is it at all dishonest? The group ProLife Alliance thinks so. Someone representing the group commented that "It is advertised inaccurately as emergency contraception, when in fact its major function is to cause the abortion of an embryo that has already been conceived, not as suggested by the name to prevent conception."

They are also afraid that "Young girls will be particularly susceptible to this advertising campaign," but that doesn't sound like a bad thing. If it can prevent some teenage pregnancies, good. Maybe the ProLife Alliance is actually afraid that the commercial is so effective, impressionable (and very stupid) young girls will think the pill looks like it's fun to use, so they'll pick up some random older guy for an evening of unprotected sex. Then they can indulge in their fantasies of reliving the commercial!

Luckily, I don't think anyone is that stupid. Anyway, the most important thing to remember is that there are legitimate situations where the pill comes in handy, as the company behind it will tell you:

A spokeswoman for manufacturer Bayer Schering Pharma said television advertising was an effective way of providing information about the morning-after pill.

She said: "If regular contraception fails, women need to know that emergency contraceptive options are available and where advice can be sought.

"However, our research has shown not all women are aware of the facts about the emergency contraceptive pill and that some women cross their fingers and hope for the best instead of taking action when their regular contraception lets them down.

"We believe TV advertising plays an important role in informing women about Levonelle One Step and how and where it can be obtained."

My only wish is that this ad comes to America. It could make members of the most extreme pro-life groups spontaneously combust.

The Return Of Stapp

Warning: Creed, the rock band with heavy Christian influences, is reuniting. Adjust your radios accordingly.

Making The Swine Flu Kosher

Stretching the boundaries of political correctness, an Israeli health official wants the swine flu to be called "Mexican" influenza to get around the pork envy that Jews and Muslims have:

Deputy Health Minister Yakov Litzman said the reference to pigs is offensive to both religions and "we should call this Mexican flu and not swine flu," he told a news conference Monday at a hospital in central Israel.

Both Judaism and Islam consider pigs unclean and forbid the eating of pork products.

But labeling the flu as "Mexican" is likely inaccurate and possibly more offensive:

Scientists are unsure where the new swine flu virus originally emerged, though it was identified first in the United States. They say there is nothing about the virus that makes it "Mexican" and worry such a label would be stigmatizing.

Keeping Dry

It looks like baptisms are a hard sell these days:

Southern Baptist churches baptized fewer people in 2008 for the fourth year in a row to reach the lowest level since 1987, and membership in the country's largest Protestant denomination fell slightly as well.

Baptisms dropped just over 1 percent to 342,198 last year, compared with 345,941 in 2007, according to an annual report released Thursday by LifeWay Christian Resources, the Southern Baptist Convention's publishing arm.

Total membership of Southern Baptist churches was 16,228,438 last year, down nearly 38,400 from 2007.

This clip has never been more relevant:

Dr. Oz Gets Spiritual

Dr. Mehmet Oz of Oprah fame talks about his support of prayer in medicine and healing. Later in the video he talks about his love of faith in general, saying those without a religious foundation are in danger of "capsizing" later in life. While he gives relatively nuanced answers, it's disconcerting to see that one of the best known doctors in the country has such an unscientific side.

Atheists Are Speaking Out More Than Ever

The New York Times had a story today on the growing outspokenness of American atheists:

More than ever, America’s atheists are linking up and speaking out — even here in South Carolina, home to Bob Jones University, blue laws and a legislature that last year unanimously approved a Christian license plate embossed with a cross, a stained glass window and the words “I Believe” (a move blocked by a judge and now headed for trial).

They are connecting on the Internet, holding meet-ups in bars, advertising on billboards and buses, volunteering at food pantries and picking up roadside trash, earning atheist groups recognition on adopt-a-highway signs.

They liken their strategy to that of the gay-rights movement, which lifted off when closeted members of a scorned minority decided to go public.

“It’s not about carrying banners or protesting,” said Herb Silverman, a math professor at the College of Charleston who founded the Secular Humanists of the Lowcountry, which has about 150 members on the coast of the Carolinas. “The most important thing is coming out of the closet.”

The risks associated with being an known atheist have surely diminished in the last couple of decades, but that doesn't mean atheists are now a beloved demographic:

Despite changing attitudes, polls continue to show that atheists are ranked lower than any other minority or religious group when Americans are asked whether they would vote for or approve of their child marrying a member of that group.

Over Half Of Americans Have Switched Religions

Numbers released today find that over half of Americans have changed religions:

In a survey released in 2006, the Pew Forum found that 28 percent of Americans have left their childhood religion, through conversion or abandonment of institutional religion altogether. They also found that an additional 16 percent had switched between Christian denominations.

Now, the Pew Forum has found that an additional 9 percent of Americans have left the faith of their childhood at some point during their lives for a different religion only to return. That means that a majority of the nation - 53 percent - has identified with a religion different than their own at some point during their lives.

People rarely have quick conversions; rather, they tend to gradually change in and out of religions:

More Americans have given up their faith or changed religions because of a gradual spiritual drift than switched because of a disillusionment over their churches' policies, according to a new study released today which illustrates how personal spiritual attitudes are taking precedence over denominational traditions.

The survey by the Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life is the first large-scale study of the reasons behind Americans switching their religious faith and found that more than half of people have done so at least once during their lifetime.

Almost three-quarters of Catholics and Protestants who are now unaffiliated with a religion said they had "just gradually drifted away" from their faith. And more than three-quarters of Catholics and half of Protestants currently not associated with a faith said that, over time, they stopped believing in their religion's teachings.

This survey is encouraging. It means most people aren't totally dogmatic about their beliefs, at least when given enough time. In addition, the survey signals an increase in the unaffiliated:

"Sixteen percent of U.S. adults identified as unaffiliated in the 2007 survey; 7 percent of Americans described being raised unaffiliated, suggesting that many Americans end up leaving their religion for none."

Being unaffiliated doesn't make someone a non-believer, but it's a step in the right direction.

The Religious Right Has A New Hero

Miss California Carrie Prejean -- I like to call her Miss Opposite Marriage -- was first runner-up in the Miss USA pageant, and has drawn both criticism and praise for this stellar response to a question about gay marriage during the pageant:

"I think it's great that Americans are able to choose one or the other. We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage. And you know what? I think in my country, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there, but that's how I was raised."

Prejean has blamed the question for her not winning the contest. Even if that's true, her babbling answer may pay off for her, as she has already been named a hero by Real Americans:

On Thursday, she received a standing ovation while presenting an award at the Gospel Music Association's Dove Awards in Nashville, but said, "up in Hollywood, I'm not sure what their reaction would be to my showing up at a movie premiere."

She said she would be willing to meet with representatives from California's largest gay rights group "as long as it's not political."

If anything, Prejean has solidified her stance in the last week. McPherson, who preaches against homosexuality, has been acting as her adviser and encouraging her to use her newfound fame to persuade other evangelical Christians to share their views, even if they are unpopular.

"I learned that God has a bigger crown than any man can give you," she said.

As I see it, Prejean has two routes to take now. The first is politics, but she would have to move to Alaska to find any real success. The second road is, of course, to become a Fox News reporter. While I'm partially joke, these scenarios are all too realistic.

Neuroscience At The American Atheists National Convention

Dr. Andy Thomson talks about the relationship between neuroscience and belief in his speech "Why We Believe in Gods" at the 2009 American Atheists National Convention (held earlier this month). Neuroscience is fast becoming the next battle ground in any religious debate, making this well worth watching.

One Year Anniversary: How I Became An Atheist

I rarely like to get overly personal, but with the special occasion of this blog turning one year old, I thought I'd tell the story of how I became an atheist. Enjoy!

I was only six or seven years old at the time, but I remember it vividly. I was going through my first (and as it turns out, my last) crisis of faith. To this day, I have never been so burdened with doubt. This wasn't any ordinary variety of doubt, either; it was the sort of doubt that kept me awake at night, that made me not want to eat, and in the darkest of moments, made me wonder if life was even worth living.

Having no one to share my burden with made things even worse. I jealously watched my blissfully ignorant schoolmates continue to happily live their lives. But how could they be so firm in their faith when there was so much evidence against there being a higher power?

Eventually, I decided if I ever wanted to move on in life, I would have to come to grips with the truth. With great reluctance, I finally accepted the facts: There was no Santa Claus.

Over the next few weeks, my belief in the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and God would all fall like dominoes. As it turned out, this wasn’t so bad. I still got presents and candy on Christmas, more candy on Easter, and money whenever a tooth fell out. And losing my faith in God was no problem at all. I had tried praying to Him when I was still a believer, and He never answered my prayers. Now that I didn't believe in Him, my prayers still weren't answered. Nothing had changed.

It was much easier for me to reject the notion of a God than the average person since I had the luxury of never being indoctrinated in any religion, which gave me the added bonus of never fearing hell. This was thanks to having one non-observant Jewish parent and one non-observant Christian parent. It's not that my parents ever told me there was no God, they just never told be there was one. My scant religious knowledge as a child was mostly picked up from TV and comic strips. The most sophisticated beliefs I ever had about God were that His tears were rain, in was sunny when He was happy, and silly stuff like that.

It would be a while before I used the atheist label on myself. More than anything, religion was a non-issue at this point in my life, and I almost never thought about it. Besides, I was too busy with important things like Nintendo and Super Soakers to think about God.

A few years after I rejected the existence of my four entities, I casually mentioned that I was a non-believer to my parents. This statement was met with apathy, to put it strongly. It’s good to have parents who care.

When I was in my early teens I started to become conscious that my lack of religious beliefs put me in the minority. I finally started identifying as an atheist, but only because I realized that there was a lot of hatred directed at anyone who didn't believe in God. In my youthful naivety, this surprised me; I never cared at all what someone's religion was. Why would they care about mine?

It's now been about 20 years now since I stopped believing, and even though there is a lot of anti-atheist discrimination out there, I’m happy to say it’s never been a problem for me. May my lack of faith continue strong!

One Year Anniversary: Keywords

One of the perks of blogging is that when someone uses a search engine to find your site, you get to see what keyword they used. Now that I have a year's worth of keywords, I thought I'd share some of the gems (when a keyword has been used multiple times, that number is in parentheses). Just be warned that there are several naughty ones:

Ones I Like:
christians are retarded they believe in a talking dead guy
sean hannity teabagged
virgin mary asexually reproduced
texas cult hair maryann Gold and pastor "Ron Gold" colorado
rachel ray retarded
veggie tales retarded
Cow urine soda (7)
cult polygamy eyebrows

Huh?
tony blair mohammed homosexuals
primordial tail porn
fecalphiliac autistic
fallic vegetables
hot meat
gays kill muslims
use condom
wear sex girl rent office
their (2)

Disturbing:
dr laura schlessinger nude
horse sperm
dundee fuck buddies
sammy davis jr fecalphiliac
anal sex
HORNY MEN (2)

Very Disturbing:
yul brynner naked cock
father daughter anal sex
father daughter oral sex
father daughter pregnancy
jews destroying the planet

Thankfully, none of those disturbing keywords can be found on this blog. Also, there is no porn on this site, but that doesn't stop people from trying to find some . . .

Pornographic:
pron actor ron
invisible porno
teabagging (3)
girls porno 10god
porn (2)
panties (2)
steak and a BJ (2)
pink ass
make me pink sex

Pornographic, Religious Style:
Nude Virgin Mary (2)
religion pornography
jesus christ superstar 2000 homosexual

Pornographic, Mormon Style:
mormon bikini (2)
mormon pick up lines (9)

The most common keywords tend to be unicorn related.

Miscellaneous Unicorns:
pink unicorn nazi
obama unicorn (3)
unicorn barbie pagan
bad pickup lines unicorn
Is God really like a Unicorn?
britney believes unicorns

Jewish Unicorns:
rabbi riding a unicorn
do jews like unicorns?
jewish unicorns

Gay Unicorns:
Thank baby jesus for gay unicorns
unicorns and homoerotic symbol
fag unicorns
fag on unicorn
UNICORN HOMO

Straight Unicorns:
unicorns are straight

Unicorn Porn:
unicorn glory hole
pedophile unicorn
unicorn sex (3)
unicorn porno

Is the Internet a dirty place or what? Another creepy thing I've learned is that there are many people who find nuns sexually attractive.

Fun With Nuns:
nun porn (14)
hot nuns (7)
hot nuns porn
porn nun (3)
porn nuns (4)
porn and nuns
porn nuns and priest
priest nun porn
nunsporn
nun porne
nuns porn
nun + porn
nuns porn arhieves
nunspornsites
nun fetish
the nuns porno religulous
bare breasted nun

Imagine the disappoint of these nun porn searchers when they click over to this blog and find out there is no nun porn here. I'm thinking of adding some just to make them happy.

Clearly, the lesson here is that any site, even an atheist blog, is going to get lots of traffic from pervs, weirdos, and all other variety of deviants.

William Donohue: More Demonic Than Angelic

Catholic League President William Donohue, always one to go out of his way to take offense to something, is at it again over the upcoming movie Angels & Demons, the sequel to The Da Vinci Code. The film's director, Ron Howard, isn't letting Donohue intimidate him, and is firing back on The Huffington Post:

For a $5 donation to his organization, Mr. Donohue will send you his glossy new booklet (Angels & Demons: More Demonic Than Angelic), in which he writes that I and the people who made this thriller "do not hide their animus against all things Catholic."

He's been making these assertions for years, going back to the theatrical release of The Da Vinci Code. He stepped up his campaign more than a month ago with a series of press releases. And there he goes again, in a Daily News op-ed last Friday, saying that Dan Brown and I "have collaborated in smearing the Catholic Church...."

Let me be clear: neither I nor Angels & Demons are anti-Catholic. And let me be a little controversial: I believe Catholics, including most in the hierarchy of the Church, will enjoy the movie for what it is: an exciting mystery, set in the awe-inspiring beauty of Rome. After all, in Angels & Demons, Professor Robert Langdon teams up with the Catholic Church to thwart a vicious attack against the Vatican. What, exactly, is anti-Catholic about that?

That's right: William Donohue is selling a booklet he wrote attacking Angels & Demons, even though he hasn't seen the movie, doesn't seem to know exactly what it is about, and doesn't really care to find out. Then again, Donohue's lack of inquisitiveness has always been good to him, and without that personality trait, I doubt he would ever would have become the head of the Catholic League.

The IPU's First Anniversary

Today marks one year since I started the Invisible Pink Unicorn. Wow, times sure flies when you're insulting religion!

When I started blogging a year ago, only a short list of friends and relatives knew this blog existed. Now it gets thousands of visitors a month, and every week sees steady growth. Thanks to everyone who frequents it. I've always said that I would still blog if only one person was reading it, but I admit it's more satisfying with a bigger audience.

While I'm at it, let me give a special thanks to all the regular commenters. I don't know if everyone realizes this, but I read practically every comment (they're emailed to me), and each one is educational, enlightening, or funny in some way. Hell, even the negative comments can be fun -- they often make me laugh the most. Also, I remember everyone who has commented more than a couple times, and all of your observations are always appreciated.

I prefer not to single anyone out, but I have to give another special thanks to Hemant Mehta at Friendly Atheist for giving me a chance to reach a much larger audience on his site. Check it out sometime, and for that matter, the other ones on my blogroll.

So as the Invisible Pink Unicorn continues running strong, what does the future hold? For starters, the same great anti-religious and pro-atheism content, but I'll probably be expanding a bit into some other fields, like skepticism (The IPU is a symbol of religious absurdity, but I think of it as a symbol of absurdity in general).

The first anniversary isn't over yet, though. I'll have a couple more posts to celebrate the occasion before the end of the day, including a piece on my personal journey to atheism.

Thanks once again for stopping by. I've had a lot of fun during my first year of blogging, and I think next year will be even better.

Miss USA Idiocy

Hear about how gay marriage came into play at the Miss USA pageant? Miss California Carrie Prejean is saying she would have won the crown if not for a question about it from judge Perez Hilton (available on YouTube):

Prejean, who was first runner up, appeared Tuesday morning on NBC's "Today" show and when host Matt Lauer asked if she'd alter her answer if given a "do-over," she said no.

"I did not want to offend anybody, but I think with that question specifically, it's not about being politically correct, for me it was being biblically correct," she told Lauer.

During Sunday night's competition, Hilton asked Prejean if she felt all states should move toward allowing same-sex marriage - to mirror the efforts of states like Vermont and California.

She said, "I think it's great that Americans are able to choose one or the other ... same sex marriage or opposite marriage," then added, "I believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman ... that's how I was raised."

Way to articulate, Miss California. She says marriage should only be for heterosexual couples, but also says it's great that Americans can get an "opposite marriage." And then she goes on to say that she was standing up for her biblical principles, yet her answer was quite wishy-washy. But wait, there's more!

Hilton later ranted about Prejean on his celebrity blog and called her some nasty names.

"Out of all the topics I studied up on, I dreaded that one. I prayed I would not be asked about gay marriage. If I had any other question, I know I would have won," she said in the Fox News interview.

Hilton told King he hadn't bashed Prejean for her beliefs, but felt a candidate for Miss USA should offer more inclusive answers.

Hilton has extended Prejean an invitation to discuss the matter over coffee, but she has not accepted.

Prejean appeared at peace with the outcome Monday in her chat with Lauer - again referencing her faith and saying she was proud of herself for advancing so far in the competition.

And as for her close brush with taking the crown?

"It wasn't what God wanted for my life that night," she told Lauer.

This whole situation, for lack of a better word, is retarded. First of all, a second rate beauty pageant is never going to be a good place to talk about nuanced political issues.

Furthermore, everyone involved in the situation is completely despicable. Perez Hilton is a horrible human being who has made a career of making superficial insults about celebrities while invading their privacy.

Then there is Miss California. I don't care in the least what her opinion of gay marriage is, but I am annoyed by her "I prayed I would not be asked about gay marriage," comment. You can't think of anything better to pray for? How about praying for something constructive, like world peace or a cure for stupidity? And she believes that God's plan was for her to come in second place, where she will only be remembered for giving a poor, rambling answer.

Still craving more from the Miss California controversy? You shouldn't, but if you accidentally swallowed a toxic substance and need to induce vomiting, watch this video blogger defending the heroic actions of Miss California (Sorry, it was being played on TV so I figured I would track it down).

Feeling Good About Earth Day

Yesterday was Earth Day, the environmental holiday celebrated primarily by guilty liberals who want to work on their carbon footprint, whatever that means. Yes, the main reason Earth Day exists is so that people can feel good about themselves. All anyone has to do is recycle a few cans or use slightly less electricity for that one day, and then their conscience is clean for the rest of the year. Meanwhile, factories and vehicles emit a shit ton of pollution that will cause the polar ice caps to melt, and then everyone will be fucked. If you thought having to watch Waterworld was bad, just wait until you are living in it.

It's not that I have a vendetta against Earth Day; I like the idea in theory, but it's more symbolic than pragmatic. And it's hard to be optimistic about the environment when you realize there are huge chunks of evangelicals who don't believe in anything scientific. Indeed, according to a new Pew survey:

Nearly half of all Americans blame global warming on human activity, according to the survey, but only 34 percent of white evangelical Protestants do the same. Seventeen percent of that group say natural patterns are the cause, and 31 percent are not convinced that the earth is warming at all.

That stance is at odds with black Protestants, white non-Hispanic Catholics, white mainline Protestants, and religiously unaffiliated Americans, all of whom are significantly more likely to accept evidence of global warming, according to Pew.

It's not all bad, though. Some Christians are becoming more environmentally friendly, but then they are offset by the handful of screwballs who think God gave humans the Earth for the purpose of raping it of resources. Moreover, why would they care about stopping global warming when they think the Rapture, complete with the return of Jesus, would be the best thing that could ever happen?

Morning-After Pill Spreads, But Too Late For Bristol Palin

The morning-after pill will soon be available without a prescription to 17-year-olds:

The Food and Drug Administration said Wednesday it would accept, not appeal, a federal judge's order that lifts Bush administration restrictions limiting over-the-counter sales of "Plan B" to women 18 and older. U.S. District Judge Edward Korman ruled last month in a lawsuit filed in New York that President George W. Bush's appointees let politics, not science, drive their decision to restrict over-the-counter access.

Women's groups said the FDA's action was long overdue, since the agency's own medical reviewers had initially recommended that the contraceptive be made available without any age restrictions.

Korman ordered the FDA to let 17-year-olds get the birth control pills. He also directed the agency to evaluate clinical data to determine whether all age restrictions should be lifted.

I knew the Christers wouldn't like this ruling, but I didn't expect them to go all apocalyptic:

Opponents, including prominent conservatives, counter that it would encourage promiscuity and might even become a tool for criminals running prostitution rings, as well as for sexual predators.

If true, that would be bad, but drugs shouldn't be legalized on the basis of what a sex offender could do with them. If that were the case, the world would never get to enjoy Ambien. Besides, these same fear mongering claims could be said about condoms.

However, I'm not sure anyone actually believes the morning-after pill should be banned because of potential missuses. I think I know the real reason conservative Christians oppose it: Bristol Palin was pregnant at 17, and if she had access to the pill, lil' Tripp Johnston may never have been born. And of course, Tripp will be raised to become a loyal follower of the Sarah Palin branch of Christianity. Meanwhile, the typical free-thinking household will never have to deal with teen pregnancy, which contrasts with the Wasilla culture where teen pregnancy is as American as mom and apple pie. So the real fear is that expanding availability of the pill will hurt the ranks of the Palins and those like them.

Stealing NAMBLA's Logo

This logo, found on afrojacks.com, comes with the headline "The most inappropriate logo of all-time." Inappropriate, perhaps, but highly fitting:

Their description:

In the 70s, this picture stood for God's children. Now it just stands for boys giving priests a good ol beej. Yes, this is an actual logo designed in 1973 for the Catholic Church’s Archdiocesan Youth Commission. It even won an award from the Art Directors Club of Los Angeles.

In completely unrelated news, "two upstate New York men have filed a $10 million lawsuit against a Catholic priest who pleaded guilty to raping them."

Married In America

The Marriage-Go-Round, a new book by sociologist Andrew J. Cherlin, examines why Americans fail so badly in marriages even though they glorify them more than any other country does. And remember that divorce is almost as common as marriage there despite the fact that it is a more religious place than any other Western nation. The New York Times sums the book up nicely:

Marriage is nevertheless an American ideal. We are the only Western nation that actually spends government money to support it. The 2005 federal Healthy Marriage Initiative now allocates $100 million a year to promote marriage. It doesn’t seem to be working; marriage rates are declining precipitously, though most Americans are still expected to marry.

Marriage is our battleground. Only in America, Mr. Cherlin says, are gay people campaigning so determinedly for the right to marry. Most gay men and lesbians in Europe, he maintains, view marriage as another oppressive heterosexual institution.

How to explain this peculiar paradox — we idealize marriage and yet we’re so bad at it. Mr. Cherlin, who is also the author of “Public and Private Families,” has taken upon himself the task of explaining and has come up with an original thesis: There are two powerful forces at war in America, a historic belief in marriage grounded in our religious heritage on the one hand and a foundational principle of individual freedom and a post-modern sense of the right to self-fulfillment on the other. When these values clash, breakup and divorce follow.

Cherlin sees better ways of spending money than on promoting marriage:

Instead of spending money to promote marriage, we should use it to encourage security for our children, he says. Divorce and breakup can affect children badly. But parents shouldn’t rush into another relationship just to provide a stable home. In one study by Mr. Cherlin and a colleague, the two found that every time a partner entered or left a household, the odds of an adolescent stealing, skipping school or getting drunk increased by 12 percent, though he points out that the majority of adolescents with broken homes don’t exhibit delinquent behavior.

Good, it's always nice to have a non-ideological reason on why marriage advocacy shouldn't be federally funded.

National Day of Prayer In Flux

Better sit down, I have some potentially bad news about the National Day of Prayer:

Every year between 2001 and 2008, former President Bush's calendar was cleared on the first Thursday in May to mark the National Day of Prayer in the White House East Room with prominent evangelicals.

Now the Obama White House is facing questions of inside-the-Beltway etiquette: Should Obama maintain the open door to conservative critics like James and Shirley Dobson, and if so, should they accept?

Or, will the White House have an official observance at all?

With those questions unanswered less than three weeks before the annual observance, the National Day of Prayer Task Force headed by Shirley Dobson is moving ahead with other plans.

"We're not the coordinators of that event," said Brian Toon, vice chairman of the task force. "That's controlled completely by the White House. We have been honored to be guests at the event in the past, but we have not heard a peep from them."

In years past, Toon said, a White House liaison has contacted the ministry at least a month in advance to ask about their participation in the White House events that featured music, Scripture readings and remarks by the president and Shirley Dobson.

She and her husband, Focus on the Family founder James Dobson, were seated prominently in the front row next to the president and first lady.

The White House, which usually does not officially announce events until shortly before they occur, declined to comment on whether it would even hold an event this year, much less who would be invited.

President or no president, the show must go on:

This year, Dobson's task force has opted to hold its annual event on Capitol Hill in the morning -- at the same time when its representatives are usually at the White House.

"We do pray for the president at our (Capitol Hill) observance and we have asked for a speaker from the Obama administration and we're waiting for them to get back to us," Toon said.

He said the group is "not politically inclined" towards Republicans or Democrats, even though early Obama policy changes -- opening federal funding for embryonic stem cell research and international family planning groups -- have riled Christian conservatives.

"Prayer is very important to the president's life," said Joshua DuBois, executive director of the White House Office of Faith-based and Neighborhood Partnerships, on Sunday (April 19). "It's too early to talk about the planning around that."

I can live with the president who finds prayer important, but I can't respect a president who thinks prayer needs its own holiday.

Were Harsh Interrogation Techniques Used On Jesus?

"Harsh interrogation techniques" are back in the news after previously secret C.I.A. memos were released. These memos further illustrated the extent that torture was used under Bush's War on Terror, including details on how "two captured Qaeda operatives were subjected to a form of near-drowning known as waterboarding a total of 266 times."

The reaction to the memos has been predictable. The Left is sickened to learn to what extent their country had been using torture, while the Right, spearheaded by Dick Cheney, is outraged that the knowledge of their tactics had become public. As usual, The Daily Show breaks things down better than any other cable news channel can:

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It's an unusual coincidence that all this torture was going on when President Bush, the "WWJD" president, was in office. If you love Jesus as much as Bush claims to, then you would hope he has a sensitivity about torture; after all, his person savior was well acquainted with it. But apparently, this contradiction never crossed his mind.

Whatever their true thoughts on torture are, I have to wonder if the Bush administration would have been able to spin the torture of Jesus into "harsh interrogation techniques" if they were in charge of the crucifixion. I can picture it now: "What thorny crown? It's botanical headgear! And those aren't nail in his hands: they're stability hardware."

Even though the Romans wanted Jesus dead, they still had something in common with the Christ-loving Bush administration: a fondness for torture.

Coed Promise Keepers

Remember the Promise Keepers, the male-only Christian group that was huge in the 90s? The Promise Keepers were so popular for a stretch that they were able to pack stadiums for their rallies. During these stadium events, the men would leave their womenfolk behind -- often far behind, because these rallies could be hundreds of miles away -- and they would talk about how important it was to have a strong family.

While the men had their ultra-masculine Jesus Christ sessions -- often held in the same venues as football games -- the womenfolk would presumably be left to make home. There, they could spend time in the kitchen baking pies, vacuuming, sewing, or most importantly, incubating heterosexual fetuses.

But all is not right in Promise Keeper land. They have been on the decline for over a decade, and in order to delay their extinction, they are doing the once unthinkable:

After 20 years of men-only events, Denver-based Promise Keepers is urging men to bring "the women in their lives" to a July 31-Aug. 1 conference marking the group's anniversary.

"It's time for Promise Keepers men to step up and honor women," Raleigh Washington, the group's president, said Monday. "We're going to heal the gender divide that exists in America.

"What better way to challenge a man than nose to nose with his wife, his mother, his sister?" he said.

It hasn't been decided if any future Promise Keeper events will be coed, or just this one. The decision could rest on whether this single event successfully heals the gender divide. And let's face it: letting women come to one event after a 20 year history of sausage fests is a huge gesture for these guys. By Promise Keeper logic, this act alone might be all it takes to achieve a harmony of the genders. Then, if all goes to plan, they will be able to hold off another 20 years before letting a woman back to their events.

Undercover At Liberty University

Newsweek talks to a college student with a secular upbringing who went "undercover" for a semester at Liberty University:

While most of his buddies studied abroad last year, Kevin Roose, a 21-year-old English major at Brown University, tried a different kind of cultural immersion: he spent a semester undercover at Liberty University, the college founded by Jerry Falwell. Roose joined the student newspaper, the school choir and even spent his spring break proselytizing drunk kids in Daytona Beach, Fla. Now a senior back at Brown, Roose wrote a book about his experience, called "The Unlikely Disciple." He spoke with NEWSWEEK's Jessica Bennett.

Some of the questions:

Why take on this experiment?
I had the ultimate secular liberal upbringing. At the same time, a third of American teens identify themselves as born-again Christians. I thought it was irresponsible of me not to know about my peers. What do they do for fun? Do they use Facebook? Watch "Gossip Girl"? What's their deal?

What did you think would be their deal?
I guess I had this secular paranoia that they were all plotting abortion-clinic protests or sewing Hillary Clinton voodoo dolls.

And?
Well, on Facebook, God was the No. 1 most-listed interest among Liberty students. At Brown, it was ultimate Frisbee. So it was just a 180-degree turn. I had to follow their 46-page code of conduct: no drinking, no cursing, no hugs lasting longer than three seconds. So there goes, like, 95 percent of my day. But Liberty students aren't hostile demagogues. They're normal college kids. They worry about homework and gossip about girls, and they question their faith much more than you'd guess. We think of evangelicals as unflinching, but Liberty students spend a lot of time thinking critically—and they don't always agree with what they're taught.

Did you need help fitting in?
I bought a Christian self-help book to help with the cursing, "30 Days to Taming Your Tongue," where you're supposed to say things like "Glory be!" and "Mercy!" I had also read an article about how Liberty students were buttoned up, so I brought a suitcase full of cardigans and penny loafers—the kind of stuff I'd wear to my grandparents' retirement home. But Liberty students aren't a bunch of Beaver Cleavers. They say things like "darn" and "crap."

I guess the lesson is that Liberty students aren't violent extremists, but they can be dangerously boring.

Having Gay Parents Isn't The Worst Thing In The World

Due to the prevailing religious values, any issue related to homosexuality is going to be controversial. And no issue, including gay marriage, draws as much fire as children being brought up by gay parents:

In wide swaths of America, a child being raised by gay parents is considered profoundly disturbing. The November election -- with defeats in California, Florida and Arizona for same-sex marriage and approval of a ban on gay foster-parenting in Arkansas -- left little doubt that many voters disapprove of nontraditional families. Along with abortion, it remains one of the most divisive issues of our time.

There is no good reason why it's such a divisive issue. The biggest concern, and a thoroughly disproved one, is that some of the gayness of the parents will rub off on the children. In the mind of a doomsayers, this problem could spiral out of control. After several generations, there will be more gays than straights, and God will have to do some large scale smiting.

Of course, there are lots of factors that determine whether someone will be a good parent, but most of the evidence, including a new study, show that sexual orientation isn't one of them:

At least 4 million U.S. children have one or both parents who identify themselves as homosexual, said Gary Gates of the Williams Institute at UCLA School of Law, but long-term studies are still limited.

Sociologists Judith Stacey and Timothy Biblarz published an analysis in 2001 in the American Sociological Review of 21 studies of children raised by homosexual parents and found that, overall, they were no more likely to suffer from psychological problems than kids raised in conventional homes.

Ultimately, their findings were generally endorsed by the American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Medical Association, the American Psychological Association and other mainstream organizations.

Unfortunately, this study will convince almost no one to change their opinion on the matter.

Why He Really Got A Dog

Maybe President Obama didn't get a Portuguese water dog for his daughters, but to dispel the nagging Muslim rumors:

Having a dog in a Muslim household is an exhausting proposition. Who wants to wash or take a shower every time a dog touches or licks you, as I was brought up to do back home in Egypt? In Islamic tradition, Muslims are meticulous when it comes to touching dogs and would avoid touching their saliva at any cost, which it is hard to avoid if you are a dog lover.

If you do come in contact with a dog, you're supposed to wash your hands before you pray; some Muslims would do as many as the magical seven washes. It is ironic this excessive washing ritual comes from people who were mostly living in places where water is hard to come by.

Most Muslims will go to a great length to avoid dogs to stay clean for their daily prayers. The few Muslim dog owners stay in the closet.

You're supposed to wash your hands seven times if you come in contact with a dog? Last I checked, that's not being religiously pure; it's obsessive compulsive behavior. So if you hear stories that Obama spends much of the day hand washing, maybe he really is Muslim. If not, then it's time for those rumors to finally die.

Getting Skeptical

I just discovered the YouTube channel of Skeptic magazine Editor in Chief Michael Shermer. He's got lots of cool videos up, and this one, explaining the scientific basis behind out of body experiences (and how to magnetically induce them), might be my favorite:



Another good one is on spoon bending:



Among Shermer's other videos worth watching is the one where he decodes the allegedly prophetic "Bible Code".

Belgium Censures Pope

The government of Belgium has turned again the Pope, and they passed a resolution censuring him for comment that condoms make the spread of AIDS worse:

The resolution also asked the Belgian government to "react strongly against any state or organization that in the future brings into doubt the benefit of using condoms to prevent transmission of the AIDS virus."

And the Vatican isn't taking kindly to this:

The Vatican on Friday deplored a Belgian parliamentary resolution condemning Pope Benedict for saying that the use of condoms could worsen the spread of AIDS.

The Vatican, in a statement, said the criticism of the pope had been inappropriate and added that "some groups" had used the episode in an attempt "to intimidate" the pontiff and stop him from speaking out about Church teachings.

Whatever happens, I hope the Pope keeps speaking his mind. Every time he makes a new outrageous comment like the AIDS one, he's only discrediting his own positions.

Crazy Sound Bite Of The Day

One of the creepiest websites out there has to be godhatesfags.com, which is run by the Westboro Baptist Church. These people are best known for picketing the funerals of American soldiers killed in the Iraq War, where they claim their deaths were God's punishment for the United States not hating gay people enough.

You could spend days exploring godhatesfags.com -- where their goal is "opposing the fag lifestyle of soul-damning, nation-destroying filth" -- and still only scratch the surface of their craziness. I realize this wouldn't be the best use of time, but I think I can sum up their message with a single audio clip from their site. It's called White House = Fag House (right-click, save as), and although it might seem satirical, I guarantee it is real.

Prepare To Be Disturbed

I would have failed as a blogger if I didn't mention that a Seinfeld porn is in the works.

For the love of God, I hope "George" doesn't do a sex scene.

Sabbath Loopholes

I was writing the other day about how the whole concept of keeping a kosher diet never made much sense. Now I'm learning that Orthodox Judaism has spawned big businesses, where companies make devices and appliances that assist people in following the Sabbath rules and keeping kosher. For example, the Alt family of New Jersey, who say they are "very strict” about religion, have bought many Sabbath-friendly appliances like this water-heating one:

And while cold water can be turned on during the Sabbath, hot water cannot, because the hot water heater cannot be activated and because heating the water above a certain temperature constitutes “cooking” it. In their new kitchen, the Alts have a device, introduced within the last five years, called a ShabbHOT that supplies water that gets no warmer than 105, permissible for Sabbath use and much better than cold for dirty dishes. “It’s very difficult to wash dishes in cold water in the wintertime,” Mr. Alt said. “Your hands get very cold.”

The ShabbHOT, a thermostat made by Sterling Water Heaters of Brooklyn, keeps tap water warm and can be turned on before the Sabbath. “With the ShabbHOT I’ll have lukewarm water to use,” said Mrs. Alt, who is 47 and works as a surgical pathologist at a commercial laboratory.

This device is essentially a loophole in God's Sabbath orders. Even if these rules are total bullshit to begin with, it becomes absurd when people want to find shortcuts around them. It's not like God would have said "Water heaters -- which won't be invented for several hundred years -- cannot be operated on the Sabbath. However, if a device is invented that keeps water warm but below below 105 Fahrenheit, that's cool with me. Hell, it's not like I want to see anyone get cold hands."

Such a commandment from God would be totally ridiculous, yet the Alts and many like them behave like that really was what God ordered. Look, if anyone wants to punish themselves and follow all the strict Sabbath rules, then it's their business. But when they look for all these crazy loopholes, they may as well give up and enjoy a bacon and mayo sandwich.

Rightwing Extremism Warning

A government report warning of potential terrorist tracks has some sections of the Christian Right up in arms:

Conservative Christian groups blasted a new report from the Department of Homeland Security on "rightwing extremism," calling it an example of "guilt by association" for linking anti-abortion activists with hate groups.

The 10-page "assessment" from the department stresses that the report is not based on specific threats.

"The HDS/Office of Intelligence and Analysis ... has no specific information that domestic rightwing terrorists are currently planning acts of violence," the April 7 report says, "but rightwing extremists may be gaining new recruits by playing on their fears about several emergent issues."

. . .

Tony Perkins, president of the Family Research Council, called it "a shockingly biased new report," and Jay Sekulow, chief counsel of the American Center for Law and Justice, said it unfairly characterized those with anti-abortion views.

"This is an outrageous characterization that raises serious questions about the leadership and direction of the agency charged with protecting Americans in the ongoing battle against terrorism," said Sekulow.

The funny thing is that the report doesn't say the typical church going Christian is a terrorism suspect, or even anything remotely like that. It's like Tony Perkins and his ilk saw the phrase "rightwing extremism" and thought "hey, that must be us."

Lego Jesus

Jesus has risen as a Lego statue:

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Afghan Women Protest "Marital Rape" Law, Violence Ensues

Women's rights are in a bad way in Afghanistan, but that didn't stop a courageous group of women from protesting new stone age era laws that were recently enacted there:

A group of Afghan women who braved an enraged mob yesterday to protest against an “abhorrent” new Afghan law had to be rescued by police from a hail of stones and abuse.

The protest by about 200 women, unprecedented in recent Afghanistan history, was directed at the Shia Family Law passed last month by the Afghan parliament which appears to legalise marital rape and child marriage.

Unfortunately, the protest didn't go over well in an area where radical Islam is the norm:

The rally, staged by mostly young women with their faces exposed, was a highly inflammatory act of defiance in a country as conservative as Afghanistan. It provoked a furious reaction from local men and a rapidly expanding mob threatened to swamp the demonstrators as they tried to approach the Afghan parliament.

“Go home if your mothers and fathers are Muslims,” one Shia cleric shouted at the protesters, who were pressed into an ever-tighter huddle as the crowd surrounded them. “These people will beat you if you stay.”

Some of the women appeared cowed by the aggression, staring blankly at the ground, but one shouted back: “If you were Muslims, you wouldn’t pass this law.” As the protesters continued to chant slogans they were often drowned out by counter chants of Allahu akbar (God is greatest). “I am not afraid. Women have always been oppressed throughout history,” Zara, an 18-year-old student, told The Times as men in the crowd lunged forward and screamed abuse.

Then things got really ugly:

The baying mob tore down banners, spat on demonstrators and hurled stones. As police struggled to maintain order, at one point the women appeared to be in danger of disappearing under a sea of shaking fists.

Women police officers drafted in to help to oversee the march attempted to link arms around the female protesters and riot police eventually succeeded in separating the rival groups sufficiently for the march to continue.

I wish I could say the protest was a success, and hopefully I'm wrong, but I'm afraid it didn't accomplish much of anything. Still, the violence could have been much worse, and it's lucky that no one died.

It's scary to think how tough it will be for Afghanistan and other Islamic countries to reach a state of gender equality. It was tough enough in the United States, where it has only been a few generations since women have had voting rights, and arguably, there's still room for improvement. And as challenging as it was here, all the progress was made without the extra burden of having swarms of Islamic extremists attempting to stone activists to death.

Teabagging

Yesterday, to coincide with tax day, a bunch of "tea party" protests were held around the country (more pictures here). The events of the day were so strange that they can only be properly captured by The Daily Show:

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Tempest in a Tea Party
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I spent about 30 minutes flipping between various cable news channels last night and have these observations on the horrors of tea party day:

--There were a bunch of signs that said "In God We Trust" or a derivative along those lines. But what loving God has to do with taxes is a mystery.

--There was at least one sign calling the president "King Obama III," a reference to George III, the King of England during the Revolutionary War. However, these two have little in common. George III taxed the colonists without representation, while Obama was democratically elected with a margin of victory over 7%.

--And where were these protesters under the last president? Taxes haven't suddenly spiked under Obama, and with the exception of the richest of the rich, he wants to give Americans tax breaks. Therefore, I have a hunch that Fox News' heavy promotion of the event may have just the teeniest bit of partisan motivation.

--I'd bet that almost none of the tea-baggers know anything about taxes or economics, or for that matter, historical events such as the Boston Tea Party. As far as I know, I didn't see any trained economists in the crowds, but I'm reasonably sure I saw several junior high dropouts.

--The protesters looked to be equal parts Rush Limbaugh listeners, evangelical church members, and bussed in mental patients. And yes, there is significant crossover.

--It looked like few if any of the protests could even find a single token black guy.

--Five words: Joe the Plumber on Hannity.

For more on the subject, I have to recommend my man Matt Taibbi.

Kosher Questions

The Jewish holiday of Passover -- commemorating the Jews' escape from slavery under the Egyptian pharaoh -- is winding down. One of the more curious aspects of the holiday is that only unleavened bread is supposed to be eaten. As the story goes, the fleeing Jews had no time to let their bread rise, and they ended up eating a cracker-like bread called matzo. So to commemorate this event, those keeping a kosher diet must substitute matzo for typical bread products throughout Passover.

This practice makes sense. I wouldn't want to do it, but I see how it serves as a reminder to an important event in Jewish history. However, I can't say any of the kosher rules make much sense.

And how many rules there are. According to various Old Testament passages, God says that only mammals with cloven hooves that chew their cud are kosher (that's why pork is a no-no). Also, milk and meat can't be eaten together. Then there are many other rules I'm not all that familiar with, though I know shellfish, including lobster, are forbidden.

I have known quite a few people who follow a Jewish kosher diet, and the one thing they all have in common is not being able to adequately explain why they do it. Yeah, God is supposedly telling them what they can and cannot eat, but God gives no justification for His rules. As far as anyone can tell, these rules are purely arbitrary.

The kosher rules are more or less representative of religious beliefs in general (and it's not just a Jewish thing, most religions have at least a couple of rules along the same lines). They are meant to be blindly obeyed, they don't attempt to make any logical sense, and they quickly fall apart when questioned.

Elven Magic

Is there any place on Earth where superstitions cease to exist? It seems unlikely. As already noted, 40% of Brits believe in ghosts, and along those same line, a 2007 University of Iceland poll says 54% of the population won't deny the existence of elves.

Iceland is supposed to be an enlightened country, not a place where fairy tale creatures are still thought to exist. I'd expect to find such superstitious beliefs in a culturally backwards country like the United States, but not Iceland.

The SoulWow Problem

You know the ShamWow guy, right? He's got to be the most awesome infomercial pitchman of all time (seen at work here). In fact, he's so popular that the Roman Catholic Church of Brooklyn is trying to steal his thunder, and have started SoulWow.com, and have released this ShamWow parody video:



Whether or not this will make people want to go to confession is debatable, but it certainly doesn't have the desired effect on me. Here's why: I happen to know that the ShamWow guy, real name Vince Shlomi, was recently arrested after his attempted night of drunken passion with a Florida prostitute went terribly wrong. Before they had a chance to consummate their $1000 business deal, the hooker bit Mr. Shlomi's tongue and wouldn't let go, and she only released her clench after taking several punches. Somehow, no charges were filed against either party, though they were both booked and hospitalized.

Before the prostitute battle:

And after, badly needing a ShamWow cleaning:

So here's the problem with the SoulWow guy: he makes you think of the ShamWow guy, which in turns makes you think of a disturbingly violent fight with a prostitute. Therefore, any thoughts about Catholicism from the SoulWow guy get lost in the shuffle.

Talking Morality

On The Huffington Post, Jeff Schweitzer repeats an argument that can't be made enough: That religion is not the source of all morality:

Traits that we view as moral are deeply embedded in the human psyche. Honesty, fidelity, trustworthiness, kindness to others, and reciprocity are probably primeval characteristics that helped our ancestors survive. In a world of dangerous predators, early man could likely thrive only in cooperative groups. Good behavior would almost certainly strengthen the tribal bonds that were essential to survival. We can reasonably postulate that what we now call morality is really a suite of behaviors favored by natural selection in an animal weak alone but strong in numbers. Morality is our biological destiny, not a gift from god.

Despite abundant evidence to the contrary, human beings are inherently moral creatures, as our sociality would demand. Our inherent good, however, has been corrupted by the false morality of religion. For millennia religious doctrine has manipulated us with divine carrots and sticks. If we misbehave, we are threatened with the hot flames of hell. If we please god, we are promised the comforting embrace of eternal peace. Under the burden of religion, morality has become nothing but a response to bribery and fear. We have forsaken our biological heritage in exchange for coupons to heaven.

Faith has triumphed over reason, and we have suffered terribly as a result. In much of the world, humanity endures crowded poverty, taught that contraception is an affront to god. We rape our environment, told in Genesis that the earth's resources were put here for our exploitation and pleasure. Millions have perished in wars fought in the name of some great god. Genocide, torture, and holocausts are perpetrated in the cause of a loving father in heaven. This vengeful, wrathful, jealous, petty, bloodthirsty deity is not an appropriate guiding light on moral values.

Amen.

A Closer Look At The Notre Dame Protests

The indignation of the pro-life Notre Dame students who are protesting the President has risen to ridiculous levels. MSNBC breaks down the situation, with Pat Buchanan defending the Obama haters:

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I somehow doubt that Obama is "the most pro-abortion president ever to come down the pipe," as Buchanan claims. It's not like he has any radical viewpoints on the subject. When Buchanan cites Obama's support for embryonic stem cells as one of the reasons why he is such a fervent baby-killer, it's a less than convincing argument. Indeed, if supporting all forms of stem cell research makes someone "anti-life," I wouldn't want to be labeled anything else.

Oh well, at least the Notre Dame protesters dispel the stereotype that all college students are angry Leftists.

God Or Dog?

On Easter, Barack Obama and his family attended a church service for the first time in several weeks (they still haven't found one to join). They opted to go to St. John's Episcopal Church, widely considered the "safe" choice of churches:

Each president since James Madison has worshiped there at least once, earning St. John's the nickname "Church of the Presidents." The church's kneelers are embroidered with the names of different commanders in chief, and parishioners are proud that they keep their cool in the presence of America's elected leaders. Obama himself attended a private service there on Inauguration Day, a tradition for presidents-elect.

Even though the presidential family hasn't been going to church regularly, very few people really give a rat's ass. Sure, it's still a predominately Christian country, but skipping church is no longer a scandalous action. The polls back up this claim: Obama's favorability rating has been running in the high 60's.

What, then, do Americans care about? The truly important things, like the president's new pet, Bo the Portuguese Water dog, which, along with stories about pirates, has nearly dominated the news cycle the last couple of days. Say what you will about the state of religion in the United States, but know that we have our priorities in order.

Tea Time

If you're like me and follow current events at an unnecessarily high intensity, you've probably heard something about the anti-tax "tea parties." These are Republican protest events that are supposed to be in the spirit of the Boston Tea Party, but as Paul Krugman observes, they are not about patriotism so much as wild conspiracy theories, and just for the hell of it, anti-evolutionary circle-jerking:

Then there are the claims made at some recent tea-party events that Mr. Obama wasn’t born in America, which follow on earlier claims that he is a secret Muslim. Crazy stuff — but nowhere near as crazy as the claims, during the last Democratic administration, that the Clintons were murderers, claims that were supported by a campaign of innuendo on the part of big-league conservative media outlets and figures, especially Rush Limbaugh.

Speaking of Mr. Limbaugh: the most impressive thing about his role right now is the fealty he is able to demand from the rest of the right. The abject apologies he has extracted from Republican politicians who briefly dared to criticize him have been right out of Stalinist show trials. But while it’s new to have a talk-radio host in that role, ferocious party discipline has been the norm since the 1990s, when Tom DeLay, the House majority leader, became known as “The Hammer” in part because of the way he took political retribution on opponents.

Going back to those tea parties, Mr. DeLay, a fierce opponent of the theory of evolution — he famously suggested that the teaching of evolution led to the Columbine school massacre — also foreshadowed the denunciations of evolution that have emerged at some of the parties.

Last but not least: it turns out that the tea parties don’t represent a spontaneous outpouring of public sentiment. They’re AstroTurf (fake grass roots) events, manufactured by the usual suspects. In particular, a key role is being played by FreedomWorks, an organization run by Richard Armey, the former House majority leader, and supported by the usual group of right-wing billionaires. And the parties are, of course, being promoted heavily by Fox News.

Additionally, it should be noted that the Boston Tea Party protested taxation without representation. That is not a problem today, as the United States has always had taxation with representation.

Ghosts? Really?

What's up with the British? Their country is embracing secularism, but some of the old superstitions are still going strong. According to a recent survey, four in ten Brits believe in ghosts, way up from a 1950 Gallup poll that said only one in ten did. That's not all:

Research by Theos, the theology think-tank, shows that seven out of ten people believe in the human soul and more than five out of ten believe in heaven. One in five believes in astrology or horoscopes, one in ten in Tarot or fortune telling and nearly three in ten people believe in reincarnation.

ComRes, the company that carried out the research, surveyed more than 2,000 people for Theos. The results suggest that we are more superstitious than 60 years ago, at a time when orthodox religious belief is declining and secularism is on the rise.

The good news: skepticism is slightly up in the last 10 years.

Atheist Easter

In my earliest years, I would get very excited about Easter. Not surprisingly, it had nothing to do with Jesus -- which isn't all that inappropriate, considering Easter has as much to do with pagan traditions as it does with Christianity -- and had everything to do with candy. I would wake up early, have a hearty breakfast of jelly beans, low quality chocolate bunnies, and if the stomach was holding up, marshmallow Peeps for dessert.

When I think about it, from the age of around four to six, my faith in the Easter Bunny was significantly stronger than it would ever be for God. As far as I could tell, God did nothing for me, but the Easter Bunny would bring me candy once a year. If anything, I thought, I should be praying to the Bunny.

Even today, I am forced to recognize Easter with the extended family (a mostly secular group). If I'm feeling nostalgic for the times when I was still a believer, I'll pilfer some chocolate from the candy caches of my youngest relatives, and I'll remember what it was like to confidently believe in the absurd.

Taibbi Takes On "Christian America"

One of my favorite writers, Matt Taibbi, examines the reaction to the recent Newsweek article "The End of Christian America.”

Anyway, the reaction to this Newsweek piece was predictable and hilarious. One of the most revolting conceits of a certain class of American liberals is their terror of copping to their lack of spiritual connectedness. You know the type: doesn’t want to have to deal with all the ugly questions open agnosticism or atheism poses, and certainly doesn’t want to admit it to conservatives, so he cobbles together, usually late in life, some absurd hodge-podge of religious ritual, something that defines his “spirituality.” Maybe he starts going to church late in life, or goes back to a Kosher diet, or talks gloomily about “believing in something,” or maybe he becomes a Dan Brown-inspired Biblical sleuth. The world has invented all sorts of ways lately to give non-believers access to a sort of religious sensibility: you get the totemistic bullshit through New Age crystals, the soothing platitudes and rituals through cleverly-marketed self help books crammed with not-quite open ripoffs of Christian/Eastern principles (”Learning to Love Yourself: 10 Steps to a Happier You!”), and the relentlessly self-directed, egomaniacal soul-searching through psychotherapy, which incidentally often ends up leading to a kind of half-assed reunion with one’s childhood religion, ie church at Easter, wearing Grandma’s cross necklace, putting a dove on top of the Christmas tree, etc.

A perfect example of the new liberal religion came in today’s New York Times, in author Judith Warner’s column “What I Believe,” which was written in response to the Newsweek piece. Warner is a Jew who for a period of her childhood was raised Episcopalian, has a lot of Catholic friends apparently, and believes that a nonspecific religious sensibility is perfectly appropriate to modern times. She chants the Lord’s Prayer happily if she hears it, and her “heart sings to the organ chords of the Doxology,” whatever the fuck that means. “It is an instinctual, not altogether reasonable, sort of thing,” she says. “Having a very abstract sense of faith — or religion, or God, whatever you want to call it — works perfectly for me. According to Newsweek, [this is] increasingly common among other Americans as well.”

Yeah, we all know this type (and many of us have been this type). It recalls the Sam Harris argument that fundamentalists, as dangerous as they may be, are at least consistent in their beliefs. Because the types that believe in the literal word of the Bible may believe in nonsense, but at least it's a predictable nonsense.

Then there are those who practice a touchy-feely, watered-down form religion, perhaps incorporating Eastern beliefs about chakras and the spiritual benefits of colonics. This sort of faith won't inspire violent extremists, but that doesn't mean it should be admired. Really, these beliefs are no more sensible than fundamentalist ones, and often more vague.

Don't get me wrong, I'll gladly take a moderate, New Age religious person over a Bible thumper. But that doesn't mean the moderate has earned any respect.

Muhammad Ali Dealing With God's Wrath

Former boxing great Joe Frazier is suggesting that Muhammad Ali's Parkinson's is punishment from our benevolent lord:

When it comes to his longtime foil, Frazier is sympathetic to the suffering Parkinson's disease has caused Ali. But as a Christian, Frazier said, he isn't surprised by it, either.

"I'm sorry that he is the way he is, but I didn't have too much to do with it. It was the good man above," Frazier said. "Maybe I did have a little to do with it, but God judges, you know what I'm saying? We don't have the power to judge that the man has above."

Frazier believes that Ali's arrogant boasts of "I am the greatest!" were "a slap in the Lord's face," and that he did the same to his family when he changed his name from Cassius Clay to reflect his Muslim beliefs.

I can't think of a better advertisement for Christianity: "Be a humble Christian, or God will give you Parkinson's!"

A Good Reason Not To Celebrate Good Friday

It can be a deadly holiday:

Authorities and witnesses say a priest drove into a group of churchgoers after a Good Friday service near Pittsburgh, killing an 89-year-old woman and wounding four other people.

Madeline Romell's leg had to be amputated shortly after the Friday afternoon crash in the parking lot of St. Maurice Catholic Church in Forest Hills. She was pronounced dead about five hours later.

Four others were hurt, but Forest Hills Mayor Ray Heller Jr. says their injuries weren't life-threatening. He says the injuries included a broken leg and a broken arm.

Meanwhile, those who skipped church escaped all danger. What's with the conflicting message, God?